Gretchen’s Letter–Excerpted From Theodora's Children

Author’s note: This is no ordinary blog post, but a passionate letter which Gretchen, the heroine of Theodora’s Children, has written to a mysterious stranger who has just saved her life. Though the post is longer than that recommended by SEO gurus, I believe Gretchen would be disheartened if her letter were to be cut short. And so here it is, in its entirety. Should you wish to comment on the letter, a space has been provided for you below.

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Dear Secret Brother, I do not know where to send you this letter of thanks and so I am keeping it in this willow tree in the hope that you will find it and read it. Perhaps one day you will write an answer to it, which is my great hope, and will reveal to me where you are and how I might meet you. I would very much like to know your name and whether it could possibly be Tom. I have often dreamed of a having a brother with this name. As you might know, I have no brothers or sisters. According to my mother and father–whom I dearly love–I will never have any, which is for reasons that I do not understand.

As you may not know, even though you risked your life to save mine, my name is Gretchen. I am eleven years old and I lived in the burning room you rescued me from. I am now staying in a bedroom on the first floor until the repairs are completed.

I do not know why you are hiding, but I promise you with all my being that I will tell no one of your existence, should you choose to honor me with a reply to this letter, or, best of all, with a visit. If you are in any trouble–for why else would you be hiding?–please let me know and I will do everything in my power to help.

As I am new to writing letters, please accept my apologies for sounding unclear and confused. Though I very much like to write, especially about my adventures with Tom, who is my imaginary brother, I do not know how to write to a real person. Esther, who is my tutor and friend, tells me that writing a letter should be like talking to another person, only that you use a pen to speak, instead of your mouth. She also said that since letters give you more time to think about what you are going to say next, they are an excellent way to open your heart to others.

Please do not worry, however, that I have told Esther about you. Though I trust her more than anyone in the world–except for you and my parents and my pony, whose name is Petey–I have not whispered a single word to her, or to anyone else, about my great yearning to get in touch with you.

Esther has taught me many things, including arithmetic, geography and spelling, though she cannot answer some of my questions, such as where the world came from and what is on the other side of the stars. I have discussed these subjects with Tom in my other diaries, but as Tom isn’t real, his answers are really my own answers and aren’t able to tell me anything that I don’t already know. It would be so much more fun and rewarding to talk these things over with you, a brave and hearty soul who has surely thought them over many times before.

I do not want to bore you by saying how lonely it is to be the only young person among a great many adults, but as I have already done so, I will allow myself to say it. I’m not suggesting that I don’t love my parents or Esther or the maids or the butlers or the grooms or any of the other adults who work so hard to make me happy. As I’ve said before, I love them dearly and know that they love me.

Nevertheless, I sense that someone great and wonderful is missing from my life, someone who will understand me completely and take away my worries and rescue me from those things I need to be rescued from. As you have already rescued me from being roasted alive, I believe that this someone is you and that if you knew the true state of my heart, which is that of overwhelming thankfulness, you would come out of hiding.

I apologize if my words to you seem to be flowing out in strange and unusual ways. This is because I have read many books in which friends have said many wonderful and amazing things to each other. Since I don’t have any friends in real life, I’ve tried to learn from these make-believe friends how young people, such as ourselves, talk to each other. This I’ve done without Esther’s knowledge, for in my loneliness I’ve read many books in our library about brothers and sisters and other younger people of my age. As they’re not always nice to each other–I am hoping that I will not be that way myself–I have done my best to remember only the nice parts so that in my letter to you I can be as polite and courteous as possible, especially considering that I owe you my life.

I should not fail to mention that neither my parents nor Esther nor the maid nor the butler nor the groom nor anyone else in the house–which numbers eighty-five people–believe that I was rescued. As they found no evidence of your existence anywhere on the property, and as they discovered that I had written many diaries about my adventures with my imaginary brother Tom, and as they knew there was nothing in the world I wanted more than a brother, they concluded that I imagined the entire rescue. Perhaps you can imagine, then, how terrible it makes me feel to know that so many people think something is seriously wrong with my brain.

For a while I fought to make them believe me, especially the counselors, who pretended to be my friends. But my efforts were completely futile. At last, I realized it was best to let them think I’d somehow rescued myself and to conduct my own search for you in secret.

Which brings me back to this letter. You see, I have looked absolutely everywhere for you and have found nothing. Now I live in the great fear that you have left the property for far-off places, perhaps to escape a pursuer or to conquer some unknown land. If this is so, I fear that I shall never find you, for I have no first-hand knowledge of the real world beyond the walls of my home. I know only that it is large and cruel, though Esther would have me think otherwise. I have read books about other lands and about other peoples and about the many awful things they do to each other.

I know that it’s not good for me to read these books, which I’ve secretly taken from my parents’ library. I read them in the dead of night, under my pillow, stories of people who live in darkness and in horror, awful stories that I fear would frighten even you away if I were to tell you of them in this letter. But then, where do you come from, if not from beyond the walls of the only home I have ever known, if not from a place where things are known that I will never know if I do not venture there, which I may have to do if I cannot find you here?

Oh Tom, how much I would like to hear just one word from you, any word, or if not a word, just a sound, anything that would let me know that you are here and that I, Gretchen, am not going mad like the people I read about in my parents’ books.

It is growing cold now and I fear that you are also getting cold. The autumn leaves are coming down and soon the pond will freeze and the long, white winter will be here, full of snow and grey skies and loneliness. Please find this letter, Tom, oh please do, and use the pen I have left with it in the hollow of the tree to write me back. Oh Tom, please do not abandon the one you have saved to live a life in which her greatest question remains unanswered.

I remain your humble servant for all eternity, full of the greatest of all possible indebtedness to you for your bravery in saving my life. Your sister for life–Gretchen

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Theodora’s Children

Now Available

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One of the best book’s I’ve ever read . . .Theodora’s Children is a most beautiful Christian allegory. It’s style is reminiscent of C.S. Lewis’ Narnia books. For me, it very much had an air of The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe about it. I was captivated by its beauty and enthralled with its narrative. –Julia Wilson. Christian Bookaholic ★★★★★

“Reading each chapter was much like watching a great movie unfold! I finished reading the entire book within a couple of hours because I couldn’t put the book down! Besides being a fantastic story, I was so pleased that Theodora’s Children had a perfect ending." – Jan I. -- Amazon Reviewer ★★★★★

This sweet story of a lonely girl whose only wish could never come true is a lesson in coping with disappointment. When we learn the mystery of faith, we have a Father who never leaves us truly lonely. –Lisa Lickel. Living Our Faith Out Loud ★★★★★

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